Trust or truth, which comes first?

This week has been crazy emotional for me. As you probably know, I am in the midst of writing a book proposal. It is a major thing to step into being an author. The best way for me to really OWN it, is to proclaim it! So, I am writing to you proclaiming that I AM AN AUTHOR, baby!

There is still more work to be done on the proposal, however the book was born last week. When I finished my chapter summaries, I was ecstatic. The first people I called were my parents and my brother.  I was jumping up and down, doing my happy dance as I was on the phone with them.

In the book writing process, trust comes up a TON. Am I good enough to write this book? Who am I to say this? With every moment of self-doubt, I remember that TRUST is a choice, and fortunately, trusting will get me to where I need to be in life and with this book.

Recently, I had a client reflect this very understanding back to me! If you are currently struggling with letting go of an old love, the one that got away, or just experiencing the breakup blues, then you must read this story.

Check out the magic that “Mary” made.

When Mary came to me, she told me that she didn’t know if she could get over a relationship that had just ended. Eric, her ex and co-worker, finally told her that he was in love with her, but it was two months after he had broken up with her, and just before he moved to another city. This left her with a lot of unanswered questions. Why was he still moving? Why wasn’t he asking her to stay in a relationship, even if it was long distance? How could he love her and then leave her?

I had Mary write him a letter, saying everything that she’d left unsaid. When she read the letter to me, I knew she had to send it. I explained that it wasn’t about Eric hearing what she had to say or even getting a reply. It was about trusting herself enough to send it and to know that everything that had been left unsaid, because she was scared, needed to be said.

Within a day, she received an email from a woman who explained that she was Eric’s girlfriend. Mary read the first couple of sentences, and knew she didn’t need to know any more. Once she understood that Eric had moved because he had a girlfriend, the truth set her free. There had been times when she had sensed that something was off, and now she was able to connect the dots around all the little ways that he had pulled away.

The typical reaction to hearing that your boyfriend had another girlfriend would be a feeling of more deception, but Mary knew that for her, it answered so many unanswered questions. While they were together, her intuition had been warning her, and she now knew her intuition was absolutely right. She wasn’t crazy. That is what set her free. Did she get angry? Yes! But now she had something to fuel her forward momentum versus wallowing in the sadness that had been keeping her stuck in the past.

Her biggest AHA was that through trusting herself to send the letter, she was able to find the truth.

Many times, we think that once we find the truth, then we can trust. “The reality is that the only way to get to the truth is to trust FIRST!” – me

Your Lovework:

Is there something that you have left unsaid with any of your past loves? Something that you regret? Write a letter to that person, expressing your feelings, and allowing yourself to release the fear that has been holding you back from expressing yourself fully. It might just be the very thing that frees you.

I would love to hear from those of you who have been in a similar place before. Please COMMENT below!

In Love,


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