I wanted to write to you about understanding CONTEXT when interacting with men, so that you aren’t just jumping to conclusions that keep you from connecting with a man you like.
A great example of this was in a Bollywood movie I watched the other day called PK.
The premise of the movie is that an alien (PK) lands in India and is stuck on earth until he can find a way to get home.
He starts to learn the ways of human beings and gets really confused by all the different rules we have.
In one scene of the movie, PK sees this woman in a white sari (a wrap around dress worn by most women in India) on the bus crying. A couple of other men on the bus explain to PK that she just lost her husband and that wearing white signifies that she has lost someone.
PK understands and starts to console her.
At his stop, PK gets off the bus…
And literally runs into a woman wearing a white wedding gown.
He goes up to her, pulls out a tissue and says, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
She freaks out – “What are you talking about?!”
He asks, “Didn’t you just lose your husband?” and she says, “NO! I’m getting married.”
He was so confused because the only understanding he had (just a few minutes before) is that a woman wearing white has been widowed.
This is exactly what happens to us with men. We think, “He should initiate first – that shows he’s interested.”
So, we use that assumption no matter what the context is with a man we’re interested in.
For example, I had a client explain to me that she was talking to this guy she really connected with. He initiated and asked her to get together.
Then the day of the date, he had to cancel because of a work emergency.
Instead of asking him if he wanted to reschedule, she said to me, “If he’s really interested then he’ll reach out first and initiate.”
But up until that point, he HAD been initiating. Based on the context of the situation, it was okay to reach out and figure out a new time and date to hang out with him.
She was apprehensive, but she did it.
They went out on a date, and she said it was one of BEST dates she had ever been on.
The conversation was easy, there was an attraction, and it was totally natural. They’ve already scheduled another date.
Every situation you have with a man you’re talking to is different.
How do you feel around him?
What kinds of questions does he ask?
How much is he initiating?
Is it easy to communicate with him?
Can you feel he cares?
These are all factors in how you’re going to respond. The CONTEXT is so important when choosing how to respond to the men you are interacting with.
Like PK, you can’t just use “white clothing” as a way to know what’s going on. You have to use the CONTEXT to help you interact in a CONNECTED way.
When we shift our mindset to taking in the context, you begin to create the possibility of connecting with someone on a deeper level. You get to know them and then decide if they are right or wrong.
CONTEXT is everything in the way you’re translating and then getting into action in your LOVE LIFE.
Your Lovework this week is to tell me in the comments below if you’ve ever gotten mad at a man (or anyone), only to find out – with a little more context -that you misinterpreted what happened. How did that feel?
I want to hear all about it! I know I have done this plenty o’ times.
In Love,
