Are you being hard on yourself, like me?

The One-Day LIVE Done With Being Single Event was a success! I am still floating after working with 77 women live. We sold out. I had a moment right in the beginning of the day when all the women were packed into the room, and they were connecting with one another, and I could feel the energy in the air. It was pure creation and excitement.

Since then, I have already heard stories from the beautiful women in the room that their affiliation to love has changed in a big way. Some have gotten bold with love and asked men out in a feminine way, some realized the people they were dating were not right for them (clarity is priceless), and some have gotten vulnerable in ways they never imagined with the people in their lives.

One thing I noticed consistently across the board with most of the women is that they were being so hard on themselves. And trust me, I understand this. I can be the same way at times.

I feel it is a characteristic of the strong, independent, go-getter woman. We often unknowingly and knowingly beat ourselves up for all kinds of things.  Here is just some of the internal dialogue that we can have in a matter of minutes.

I was slightly mean to my friend today when I said….

I hope I didn’t offend that guy at work.

I feel stupid for liking someone that doesn’t like me.

I have to go to a party tonight and I don’t want to be the loser that walks in by herself.

Why did I eat that chocolate cake when I am trying to diet?

I am so lazy why didn’t I work out today?

I feel like I messed up the ending of that presentation.

I should have been more prepared for that meeting.

My hair looks awful today.

I thought I was making progress, and now I feel like I am right back where I started.

I didn’t get anything done on my to do list. I feel so unproductive (when I actually accomplished a lot of other stuff!)

Isn’t that insane? We don’t give ourselves much credit or compassion. I talk a lot about spreading compassion to loved ones (especially mom and dad) as a way to create it for ourselves, which is one way to do it. The other is to start to have compassion for you right now. {TWEET THIS!}

During this past week, many times I observed my thoughts for literally 15 minutes, and there was a lot of “Why did you do this or that?” going on. So I decided to change the dialogue in my head by flipping the script. I was GENTLE with myself.

It started off with just being physically kind to myself. I went and got a mani pedi, since they’re places with affordable equipment for nail salons, I also got an extra 10 minute foot massage. Then I observed my thoughts, and every time I went into being harsh with myself, I said…

I am amazing.

I am great at what I do.

I am wise beyond my years.

I can help so many people.

I am on the right path, even if I don’t know where it is leading.

I am capable and so are those around me.

When talking to friends and family my intention is always coming from a loving place.

I am smart.

I am cool.


I left out “but “or “however” in these statements and kept them just solid loving statements towards myself. This is so basic, and yet it totally hits home!

As women, we are sending a lot of love out to the world (friends, family, pets, colleagues, and people we don’t even know), and yet we rarely stop to send some love inwards toward ourselves!

Your Lovework this week:

Write down your top 10 most loving statements towards yourself. Take a picture of the paper and make that the picture on your phone for a week. See how the compassion pointed inwards comes out towards others and in your relationships and love life. Tell me in the COMMENTS below what some of your loving statements were!

In Love,


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