Is it okay to not want to work at love?

We have all met the happily married couple of either a day or 30 years whose answer to the question “What’s the secret?” is: “Relationships take work.” And so we feel like we have to give our ALL of the time. Not only in relationships, but with everything. After all, we have always been taught that the way to achieve our goals is by working hard.

If you are single, you feel like you need to register for more online dating sites, be more social, ask friends if they know anyone, and in general — be on the prowl for that man that is the perfect match for you.

If you are in a relationship, you think you need to cook dinner every night, clean up everything, look sexy, and rev yourself up to have sex with your partner — even though you are spent and would rather fall asleep.

We are “DOING” so much and constantly spending our energy just pushing through, so we become panicked at any moment that feels a little off. Maybe you and your partner are not on the same page, or a man you are interested in doesn’t return a text message — you are overcome with thoughts like, OMG is he even attracted to me?!

We instantly go into overdrive in wanting to change it, figure it out, and wallow in the self pity of it all.

Somehow we have learned along the way that taking a break is bad.

We haven’t been told enough that it is okay if everything feels imperfect — that relationships have natural ups and downs, that love can take time, and that sometimes doing NOTHING for a bit is the best remedy (and I mean NOTHING). And I also mean saying to your mind: Stop analyzing and trying to figure it out. We are taking a break. This can be the best remedy to allow yourself to REALLY FEEL LOVED.

Because LOVE is actually shown to us all the time. It is a matter of stopping, dropping, and rolling in it.

This is your permission — because sometimes we need the permission— to take a FREAKING BREAK… from everything. So you can FEEL again.

Remember how carefree it felt when you were a kid coming home from school and knowing the first thing you wanted to do was drop your school bag and go outside and play in the sun with your friends or ride your bike? How worry-free we were. How amazing did that feel? We were having out-of-this-world fun.

So, your To-Do this week is to do NOTHING. Drop your school bag off one day or several days and experience carefree-dom.

In Love,


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