In your current or past relationships, have you had the “one foot in one foot out” syndrome? This is a big one for all of the single ladies. Interestingly enough so many of us, even after we have committed to our man either emotionally, or physically by exchanging vows, still feel we have a back door that we can escape from. This is what I call the Houdini syndrome that so many of us women experience, when the going gets tough.
Interestingly enough if you take a look at the divorce rates of countries. India is amongst the lowest in divorce. Now, I am not saying that everyone in India is in a happy healthy relationship, but there are some powerful attributes that we can learn.
First when a marriage happens in India, typically arranged marriages, an astrologer is contacted to verify how compatible the man and woman will be. This is looking at the long term compatibility, as the roller coaster of life progresses how will this couple, given their personality types make it through. And for those that are skeptical about astrology, Vedic astrologers use advanced form of mathematics and science to come up with compatibility guidance. It isn’t just an intuitive feeling (not that there is anything wrong with that too). I am into both.
My husband and I had this done prior to getting married, and we weren’t arranged, but it showed we were extremely compatible, and although the first several years of our marriage were not great, we were able to get to this place of extraordinary love.
Secondly, the back door (bring on the dirty minds) I was speaking of doesn’t exist when people get married in India. We completely believe in a leap of faith, and knowingness that working it out is the only route because it was destined. The reality that is faced early on for so many Indian women is that there is a purpose for being together. This purpose could be karma or fulfilling a prophecy but it is what keeps it all together, and in truth prevents the little things in a relationship from eroding away the love.
When my husband and I got back together after a 4 year break up, I remember this distinctly, we were talking about marriage, and I said how are we going to get through the big gap we see in our spiritual backgrounds. And before Tim Gunn ever said he said “We will make it work, because what brings us together is something much bigger than us.” It shifted everything for us, and we have used this same philosophy even through the tough times. Within that sentence we committed to something bigger than how much money do you make, did you make the bed, are you holding me back. We committed to our relationship serving a higher purpose.
And this is something I teach my clients all the time, to create a purpose, something bigger than you and him, something you both are in service to that lifts you out of the day to day grind, and reminds you of your everlasting love. It starts with you finding yours purpose first, and through that space you can attract a man that is deserving of your love.