Have you noticed the following dilemma:

You will be out on a date, first or even second, with a guy and something in you knows you are not attracted to this man and all signs are pointing towards, he is simply not the “one”. However by the end of the date you have the guy begging to ask you out again.

OR

You will be out with a guy that is totally hot, and charming, and something in you shifts, and all signs in your body are pointing towards, he could be the “one”. However, at the end of the date he is not even asking for seconds, but is distant and ready to go.

What is up with that, why is it that when you want something it seems to move further away from you, but when you don’t it is right there for the taking?

Well there is a reaction that occurs inside your brain and body that energetically gets picked up by a man.

When we want something, like a man, something in our brains translates it as something impossible to have, because the very state of wanting is not having.

When you have something you don’t want it’s because you have it, and once you have it you’re bored.  Like a dress that has been worn. At one point you really wanted it, but once you wore it you were bored with it…right?

Therefore, the brain sends signals to the rest of your body saying I wish I could be with this person, and have this person in my life. Your subconscious begins to ask is he is out of my league, is he too good for me, or why would he ever like me? This energetically sends signals to the man of slight desperation or inauthenticity.

It isn’t that the guy thinks you’re not attractive, too intelligent for him, too old, or not his type. It is this non-spoken energetic exchange (aka vibes) that occurs making him not so interested.

A man wants a woman that can inspire him in every way, a woman that knows what she wants. So, when a slight hint of desperation is picked up he starts distancing himself from her.

You probably know exactly what I mean because it happens for women to, when he is a little too available it is not as inspiring for us women, and the interest levels go down.

So, the next question is how do you prevent your brain from going to a place of sending desperation signals, when you like someone?

The #1 way to have the man you want is:

Know that what you are ultimately looking for in someone is INSPIRATION. Think about a moment you were inspired and why? Write it down. Then, see if he fits the bill in terms of that kind of inspiration.

I know for me, what is inspiring is when someone in my presence is authentically themselves, no games, and no façade. It gives me goose bumps.

So, judge him by your inspiration meter. He may be hot and charming, and gets your libido going, but does he do it for you mentally? He may do it for you mentally but does he do it for you in terms of chemistry? Being in evaluation around how high your inspiration meter peaks will help you stay cool and calm, instead of your subconscious slipping into thoughts of “he is too good for me,” before you even know him.

Keep yourself  in a state of choosing him, instead of wondering if he will choose you and you will stay cool and calm, with a hint of butterflies, it will allow you to be authentic, which will attract him to you like a moth to a flame.

In Love,